Saturday, January 11, 2014
Greetings internet! It has been way too long. I suppose I have a bit of explaining to do. Yes, I have been gone a long time. Considering the last post I made on this blog was over a year ago, and frankly, my posts prior to that were few and far between, I can imagine that many folks out there thought I was gone for good. To be honest, I thought I was as well.
You see, before I stopped writing, I had a bit of a... let's call it a "creative crisis." My comic seemed to be withering into nothingness, my editing jobs had dried up, most of the contacts I had made all but disappeared, and I could no longer foresee a scenario where I could make any profit on my writing. It wasn't long before my passion began to fade.
I tried various other avenues of publishing my words, ones that would surely offer more money making potential. However, as I began to dedicate all of my writing towards those newer, more lucrative endeavors, I had unintentionally wondered into a cage. I found that I could no longer write what I wanted to write about, in the way I wanted to write.
I don't mean to sound ungrateful, or unappreciative of these jobs I took on. Many of these gigs were for very close friends of mine, and the last thing I mean to say is that I didn't want to work with them, because that is not the case. The fact remained that I was writing for them, and not for myself. In fact, that is giving myself far too much credit. In truth, I was writing for money, and essentially turned myself into the literary equivalent of a prostitute.
The more I continued down this path, the more confined I began to feel. Like a fly caught in a spider's web, the more I struggled, the more ensnared I became. And soon, I began to lose faith. The more I wrote, the less I cared. Hollow had I become in my creative pursuits, and soon I simply could write no more.
During this period, I also had thousands of other forces at work in my life, further distracting me from my ambitions. Chief among them was the most powerful force on Earth: love. An absolutely amazing woman had entered my life (she drew the above cartoon of me!), and it was only a matter of time before we were engaged. The future lingered in my mind more than ever, and I had to do something to earn enough money for us to realize such a future.
I took a job working in retail. Yeah, that's right. I sold out to the man. But you know what? It wasn't all bad. I found the work surprisingly engaging. The job I took was surprisingly physical, offering up quite an exercise routine. Lifting, jogging, stretching, squatting, that sort of thing. In fact, I've lost a lot of weight and put on some serious muscles, bra.
Eventually, the job that was fresh, new and exciting took a turn for the mundane and repetitive. One day (like.. two days ago), I had a revelation, and not of something cool like the flux capacitor. No, my revelation was much more... depressing...
Every day I go into to work I feel a portion of my soul being sapped away. I spend 5 nights a week doing the exact same thing that I have been doing for almost a year. More hours of my life are spent with my co-workers than with my fiancee. I get to go inside from 30 degree weather, right back into 30 degree weather (I work in the meat and frozen food department).
I realized on that day, that I was in Hell... a frozen over Hell, and the blue light special of the day was my soul. I was reminded of a quote from none other than Bill Murray from Groundhog Day. "It's going to be cold... it's going to grey... and it's going to last you the rest of your life."
Okay, so yes I am exaggerating a bit, but the point is, I really don't want to work in retail. Sure my bosses are nice, my coworkers are cool, and it pays the bills, but it is ultimately not what I want to do. Nor is any other job that would fit into the category of "9 to 5." I want to write. And so, here I am. Back with a vengeance, and ready to get back to what I love most.
I am taking my blog very seriously this time around. Every Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday, expect a new update. I plan on having plenty of new content this time around. Sure, I'll still have the articles, opinion columns, and reviews, but I also want to include some new stuff, and I can't wait to show you what I have planned. Every article posted will be shared on each social network I am a part of, and if that's not good enough, you can now subscribe to my blog to get the latest and greatest the second it's available.
And so, I will leave you with one last sentiment. Something I have said to many up and coming writers and artists at conventions, but had seemed to have forgotten myself. Stop waiting. Start creating.